We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
