My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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