found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
