either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize