I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
