You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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