mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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