This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
