Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
