Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize