I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
