This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
