wat bout pragnant strippers??
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
