Got a toothbrush?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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