A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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