we're chasing vodka with high fives
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
