No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
