I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
