Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
