i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
