Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize