tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
