We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
