Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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