I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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