I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
