Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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