How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
