I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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