that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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