Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
