mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
