it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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