I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
