A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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