My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
