OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
