There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
