Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
