One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
