I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's like iHOP with fire
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
