wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
whose parrot is this?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
