So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
