Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm having to shit out rocks
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
