I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
