Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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