he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
