whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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