so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
