the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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