You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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