The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
