I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
