they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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