Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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