Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
