and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
