Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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