She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
