So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
