I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
