He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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