What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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